I have been married going on 12 years; together for 14. It is not the happily ever after that I was told about as a child. I say this, not because we aren’t happy and creating a wonderful life together, but because it is (like all relationships) something within our lives that we as a duo are constantly having to tend to and work on. As partners in this life, Matt and I are mirrors for one another and as we grow and change we are constantly triggering the different parts within ourselves that need love and attention; essentially the parts of ourselves that need healing. So many people hit these challenging times in their marriages or partnerships and think because it’s not easy anymore it must mean it’s not right, and they jump ship. Funny part about that is, when we jump ship from something that feels challenging instead of working through it, we always find the challenge in someone or something else.
Now I was in an unhealthy relationship in my early 20’s, that definitely bordered on abusive. There is a difference between working through something together and simply putting up with intolerable behavior. Intuitively we know when something isn’t working anymore and it’s best to move on. It took me a few years to listen to that tiny voice and to know that I was worthy of more than this particular individual was able to provide for me. However that relationship was perfect, because it was a great teacher for me. I will always have love and respect for the person who shared it wth me, he taught me what I wanted and what I did not want in a partner. It was the end of that relationship that then opened the door for me to creating a life that felt like it was all mine and then finding a partner who matched that vision.
But lets talk about that vision, because our dreams and visions are always growing and morphing. Changing to fit our hearts as we open them more and more to new possibilities. It is directly linked to our genius and what our genius is desiring to create in this life and as we allow our genius to have front and center stage in our day to day we are able to get clarity on our dreams as they change. As I have been exploring this idea and allowing my own genius the space to make her presence known, she is helping to paint an even bigger picture and dream for myself and my family, however being that I am in a partnership; it is so imperative that I am sharing these visions with Matt and giving his genius that space and time to see it for himself and to add to it. This process can get frustrating, because it creates a “growth period” for you, your partner and your relationship; and growth periods aren’t comfortable, In fact they are the opposite of comfortable. However part of letting your genius out to play more often is about getting uncomfortable in ways that push you to grow in your intuitive and creative endeavors. There are many quotes around this subject, just google comfort zone quotes and you will find many celebrities, billionaires, CEO’s and so on who have something to say about this. Truth is if we aren’t uncomfortable at times than we simply aren’t growing.
My husband and I had a conversation about this just last night, reflecting on all the ways that we have been challenged and yet still reached our goals and brought our vision to life. We’ve worked for the last 5 years on building his business, which is now thriving. We started off with nothing, putting everything on credit to get him started. We had a second kid and moved cross country within that five years. It has been extremely challenging at times for both of us and it has helped us to grow not only in ourselves, but our marriage and the vision we share; because truth is shit gets hard in life and if we don’t hold a vision for ourselves; one that is worth being challenged for, than we simply give up.
Matt and I have a vision; one that is built on a strong foundation and consists of time and financial freedom for ourselves and for our family; but we also have an even larger vision for our community and for this planet. A lot of the details are very unclear and sometimes shit gets confusing and anxiety can ensue, but when this happens we bring it back in and we get back to basics. What I am so profoundly realizing through this project of mine is that, ”Going back to basics” is actually coming home to our genius and living our lives from that space of alignment; because when we do this, that grand vision we hold doesn’t seem so unattainable. When life gets challenging and when the mundaneness of everyday living gets the best of us, we don’t give up, because we are fueled by our genius, which is pure nutrients for our body, minds and souls.
