Intuition

Yesterday I received a beautiful healing from my mentor/teacher, Carrie Brooks. I spent five years taking courses at her school ‘True Insight’ in El Segundo, California. True Insight is a place where people rediscover their own inner magic/intution and start to understand their own energetics. True Insight taught me how to develop my intuition and clear out any energetic blocks that were holding me back and essentially taught me to help others to do the same. This work that I started at this program back in 2011 is essentially what helped me to begin tapping into my genius. As I stopped running programs that no longer served me and started running my true energetics and fell into my own souls alignment, everything started to change. For the better. A whole new magical world opened up to me and it is still revealing itself 8 years later.

Finding the magic in the mundane is what has saved me time and time again when life gets bleak and painful….because it does, no matter how much you have your shit together. And I believe finding the magic in the mundane is our genius at work helping us to create a better world.

Love and Light!

Mud Slinger

I have been making pots since high school.

It is such a magical experience! To take the product of mother earths genius and turn it into your own. It is humbling, grounding, frustrating at times and as I said above pure magic.

My body loves the feel of the clay in my hands, as it smoothly moves round and round on the wheel. Using my strength to move it slowly into a centered position as my energy begins centering as well. I can feel mother earth being pulled up through my feet chakras and helping to bring the clay and my energy into alignment.

My mind loves it because it begins to turn off; turn off the hamster wheel of thoughts always turning round and round in my brain. It gets focused on the task at hand and losses itself in the round and round of the wheel instead.

My soul loves it because it is part of what I came here to do. To make beautiful things, to connect to mother earth and to inevitably help others to do the same.

All is engaged when I am slinging mud and there for my genius is at play!

Here’s to clay, mother earth and letting Guinevere out and about to show off her stuff and have some fun! WOOO HOOOO

Rest

Its been a few days since I wrote my last blog. I haven’t stopped thinking about it, but I have stopped to rest for a minute. I wish I could say that this “rest” was voluntary, however once again I pushed my body too much and wound up with a migraine. You see my body has been experiencing migraines for almost 15 years now. Whats interesting about this is that with-out the migraines I don’t believe I would have found myself on the healing journey that I have been on. Honestly I would have probably drank and used drugs to push the emotional pain away, as this was a very viable option; but because of the chronic pain in my body, I could no longer ignore what was sitting not too far from the surface. Because of migraines and innately who I am, I have explored many types of meditation, learned how to fine tune my intuition and read energy. I hired a therapist that I love, worked on my nutrition, learned about the body through massage therapy, opened up to chiropractic care and physical therapy and the list goes on.

So Thanks? Migraines….

What I want to talk about today is….why with all of these tools am I still experiencing them? and what does re-discovering my genius have anything to do with it?

Well part of what I understand about energy is that when there is a block in our energetic system that sits long enough, it can inevitably create pain and illness in the body. I have experienced this in many ways and I have helped others to move energetic blocks within their systems to help open up the space for healing, but I get so frustrated, because here I am helping others and can’t for the life of me help myself. What keeps coming up for me and why I am choosing to explore this is that in order for our bodies, minds and soul’s to be in full synchronistic bliss. We need to be channeling our inner genius. Doing the things that feel good to our bodies, stimulate our minds and fuel the fire for our souls purpose. This is essentially what I believe is our genius. I don’t believe its necessarily one thing either. However I believe its taking the gifts that we have been given by the divine and using them, every single day. In some way shape or form. I believe its about clearing all the fear about being seen, being heard and being loved; so that we have a clear channel and life line to our genius.

Our genius is simply sitting there waiting patiently to be utilized and when we are not using our gifts, our bodies energy system grows stagnant and we eventually get sick or begin numbing out; or most likely both. But part of utilizing our genius is about showing up for our bodies, because it takes longer for our bodies to process what our soul already knows and it is so necessary to rest, for some reason this is where I get stuck. I go go go go go go and don’t stop till my body physically says no more.

So part of my journey in re-discovering my genius; is about showing up for myself completely. Allowing myself the rest mentally and physically that I need, but also learning how to not spin my wheels on things that don’t really matter. Thats also where our genius comes in, because if we are operating from alignment and we have a clear tap to our genius at all times and are utilizing this, than we also are honoring our energetics and our bodies nervous system and not doing stuff that wastes our time and brings us down into lower vibrational frequencies.

So I ask myself this; How have I not been showing up for myself? How have I not been creating the space for my genius to soar?

or better yet…

How have I been showing up and how do I keep doing more of that?

My Studio

I am sitting down in my ceramics studio/office space that my husband and I just completed over the holiday break. I have wanted my very own studio space since quitting teaching, however while living in California we were never financially able to do it. So when we decided to move back to our home town of Richmond, VA. I knew it was time. The home we bought has a finished basement and there was a perfect space (which started as a dark and dingy “laundry room”) for a ceramics room. It took a lot of vision to see past what was and to see what ‘could be'. However fortunately my husband saw it too and slowly we transformed the space. Im finding it highly serendipitous that we finished right at the new year, because at the time I hadn’t even thought about journeying to rediscover my genius, but here I am at the start of 2019, with a kiln, a wheel, a hand building space, lots of fresh clay and an office that stores all my favorite things. It is more than what I anticipated, it is essentially an amazing space for my genius to play.

So let the fun times begin and I look forward to all that will transpire here.

Go Genius Go!

Goodbye 2018

When you have children “They” say (who is this all mighty they anyway); they say the days are longer, but the years are shorter. Now that I have a 5 year old and a one year old, I can say with assuredness that “they” are totally right. 2018 went by in a flash, Ive been reflecting on it only to be caught in a daze around what actually transpired.

I can tell you this, I got quiet, the most quiet I think I have ever allowed myself to become. This isn’t to say, I didn’t get loud, like at the end of the day and all I wanted to do is take a hot bath and curl up with a good book, and my Son, Xander busts through the door (while I am finally laying in said warm bath) screaming that he has to go poop and he needs me to wipe his butt. There may of been a few choice words that did not quietly come out of my mouth.

However I digress. Quiet in the sense that I brought my energy in and was extremely choosy as to where, what and when i distributed this precious life force, that i once dispensed all willy nilly, to the point of sheer exhaustion. In the beginning of 2018, My husband and I deleted our Facebook accounts. Now this may seem trivial, however in a time when media has become our ‘church’; the place where we commune with others, gain insight into things we care about (or a lot of the time don’t) and take in daily insight, Facebook is pretty important to a lot of people. However we were both feeling bloated with information and the place that once was a sanctuary now felt toxic and harmful to our energetics. So we quit, and thats when the silence started and I realized how noisy my life had actually gotten. The thing about the noise is, that while it’s fun because it makes you feel a part of something greater, it is also so very harmful, in that it keeps us from actually experiencing our own thoughts and feelings. Like duct tape we start picking up others belief systems and patterns, we start believing others truth instead of trusting our own instincts and intuition….and the most sad thing about the noise is that we once again hush out the beautiful Genius within us all, filling up with sugar, when our bodies really need real true nutrients.

So I got quiet and with the quiet there is a loneliness that follows, which is why most don’t do it. I got quiet and at times very lonely, but what I found in this loneliness was inevitably me, sitting there waiting to be seen. Not by social media or my family or friends, but by me. I saw myself and some of it I really didn’t like. I saw my ego and how for the longest time it had been in the driver seat. I saw my heart and how broken and alone it had been feeling. I saw my mind and how cluttered it had become and I saw my soul, which let me know that I was exactly where I needed to be and led me to the door where my Genius sat waiting for me to come home.

Hello Genius and Goodbye 2018.

Magic in The Mundane

My daughter just threw up on me. This is real talk.

Now I am finally sitting down after cleaning it all up and giving both of us a bath. She’s happily watching Peppa Pig…..and now my son is asking me for a bowl of soup, like he intuitively knew I was getting ready to do something for me and immediately thought, hey I need something and am going to interrupt mom’s time to herself….

This is Real Talk, because this is life with children…and even without children, there is a mundane quality to the everyday. No matter how wealthy, extreme or adventurous your life is, there is a day to day that doesn’t make the high light real on your Instagram.

So I guess what I am exploring at the moment is ‘how do we stay in the magic, even in the mundane?’ How do we keep our Genius at the for front, even when we are covered in our child’s vomit…gross I know.

Here is what I know…She (my genius Guinevere) peeked her head out as I was sitting in the warm bath with my baby girl on my lap. I started singing Do-Re-Mi to June and as I sang, I could feel my heart chakra relaxing and I could see the gold presence of her lovely energy. Later, My husband Matt and I had a really good laugh, because for some ungodly reason, June insists on only puking on me. My husband can have her for hours and then the second he passes her off to me, she heaves a good one all over my chest. As we were laughing a giant belly laugh about this, I can once again feel Gwenny smiling within me, so happy to be out to play.

Part of being more in touch with our Genius is about finding or focusing on the satisfaction in even the most awful of tasks. There is always something that is satisfying to our souls, within everything we do. If you ever want a great reference point to this exact thought, google ‘Abraham Hicks and Satisfaction’ Esther Hicks channels an amazing panel of advanced souls who call themselves Abraham. Abraham talks about how feeling satisfied is the key to all manifestation.

So I guess what I am trying to say is this…

Through out this year, I plan to explore my rediscovered friendship with my amazing Genius and it is imperative in this newly found friendship to remember to always look for the magic within the mundane, because it is our Genius that helps us to live in vivid technicolor even on a greyest of days.

Hello 2019

Today is the first day of 2019. I love the feeling of a new year. The hope and creative energy it brings. The idea that this year, this year, is THE YEAR. The year things are really going to take flight and be what I always wanted my life to be.

I am 38 years old and have had many of these new years day mornings and revelations, however this year truly does feel different. You see I have spent most of my 30’s in a deep healing space. If this doesn't make sense to you its ok, because it means many things to many people, but to me, its meant one thing, shedding the many layers of bullshit and fear that i have collected over my life to reveal the beautiful pearl sitting in the middle of my heart.

This pearl is my GENIUS.

And my intention for 2019 is to spend some time with this new/old friend of mine.

I’ll call her Guinevere, because that is who she says she wants to be called.

Gwen is everything beautiful that comes from my hands and my voice when I allow her to take the wheel. When my ego of fear steps aside and she takes center stage in my heart.

When I was a child Guinevere was my best side kick. She showed me the sun and how good it felt when it warmed my skin, she showed me how fun it was to dance and sing and play dress up in my mother’s clothes. To laugh with buddha like joy at jokes my friends would tell. To cry when i needed to. To get lost in coloring for hours without a care in the world. She showed me presence and how good it felt to be present to all of nature’s wonders. Getting lost in the woods exploring, not really caring that it was getting dark outside. Digging holes “to china” and dreaming of far away places.

However as time went on and society’s rules and regulations set in. As I began to put up walls from the pain and sadness i would feel from others in my family and in the world. As i began to have an understanding of the world outside of my own imagination and the safe space Gwen provided. I slowly began to lose sight of her. Ever so slowly as if it wasn’t actually happening she began to fade into the background and the walls around my heart keeping her prisoner got higher and thicker. As I got older and set out into the world, I would catch glimpses of her again. When I went to art school and lost track of time throwing pots on the wheel, there she was, smiling in my presence, only to be squashed out again by deadlines, critiques and this heart wrenching desire to “Be better than” the next person in my class.

When I became an art teacher I could feel her again, when the class was immersed in the project I gave them, I could sense her inside of me playing delightfully with all of my students, who were in that very moment allowing their geniuses out to play as well. These moments were few and far between, but when they happened it was like fireworks of excitement exploding. But then the number of kids in each of my classes would inevitably be too large and the paperwork would pile up and the ego would take over needing to be the best teacher possible, which inevitably led to burn out, because honestly who can live up to perfection.

No one.

So I quit teaching after 8 years.

It was liberating and my Genius was excited at what was to come, my intention was to use the new time that had opened up to create ceramics, which i did and i created some very beautiful things, sold a few things and even had a few shows where i got to share my work with others, however I was still squashing Guinevere out. I squashed her out by worrying what people would think, by a need to be perfect in how I executed not only the work I did but the time freedom I now had, but worst of it all I smashed her out by wanting, needing to be better than. Better than my counterparts….simply speaking better than, cause if I was better than then I was worthy and that deep dark hole in my heart created by years of building walls, wanted nothing more than to feel filled up, but no amount of worth no matter who was dolling it out would fill this void that had been created over years of suppression and hiding.

It took time, learning meditation and getting back to basics to start peeling back the layers that were covering up my genius. It took having children and so desperately wanting them to nurture their own genius that made me stop and think if I was doing the same for myself. It took being in a healing journey for most of my 30’s to get to this point.

So here I am at the start of a new year, ready!

Ready to reacquaint myself with my old friend Guinevere❤️