When you have children “They” say (who is this all mighty they anyway); they say the days are longer, but the years are shorter. Now that I have a 5 year old and a one year old, I can say with assuredness that “they” are totally right. 2018 went by in a flash, Ive been reflecting on it only to be caught in a daze around what actually transpired.
I can tell you this, I got quiet, the most quiet I think I have ever allowed myself to become. This isn’t to say, I didn’t get loud, like at the end of the day and all I wanted to do is take a hot bath and curl up with a good book, and my Son, Xander busts through the door (while I am finally laying in said warm bath) screaming that he has to go poop and he needs me to wipe his butt. There may of been a few choice words that did not quietly come out of my mouth.
However I digress. Quiet in the sense that I brought my energy in and was extremely choosy as to where, what and when i distributed this precious life force, that i once dispensed all willy nilly, to the point of sheer exhaustion. In the beginning of 2018, My husband and I deleted our Facebook accounts. Now this may seem trivial, however in a time when media has become our ‘church’; the place where we commune with others, gain insight into things we care about (or a lot of the time don’t) and take in daily insight, Facebook is pretty important to a lot of people. However we were both feeling bloated with information and the place that once was a sanctuary now felt toxic and harmful to our energetics. So we quit, and thats when the silence started and I realized how noisy my life had actually gotten. The thing about the noise is, that while it’s fun because it makes you feel a part of something greater, it is also so very harmful, in that it keeps us from actually experiencing our own thoughts and feelings. Like duct tape we start picking up others belief systems and patterns, we start believing others truth instead of trusting our own instincts and intuition….and the most sad thing about the noise is that we once again hush out the beautiful Genius within us all, filling up with sugar, when our bodies really need real true nutrients.
So I got quiet and with the quiet there is a loneliness that follows, which is why most don’t do it. I got quiet and at times very lonely, but what I found in this loneliness was inevitably me, sitting there waiting to be seen. Not by social media or my family or friends, but by me. I saw myself and some of it I really didn’t like. I saw my ego and how for the longest time it had been in the driver seat. I saw my heart and how broken and alone it had been feeling. I saw my mind and how cluttered it had become and I saw my soul, which let me know that I was exactly where I needed to be and led me to the door where my Genius sat waiting for me to come home.
Hello Genius and Goodbye 2018.
